DADDY DAYCARE FEATURE :
Name: @SAHDandproud
Age: 39
Family Members: Dr B (wife), T
(son, 2 and a half) and K (daughter, 51 weeks old)
How long have you been a stay at home Daddy for?
Full-time, since T was 6 months old – 2 years now.
What was your previous occupation and how did you find the transition from that job to caring full time for an infant?
Office manager for a company providing healthcare workers for the private and public sectors. I had to babysit my boss most of the time. She threw strops, covered up errant behavior and stole my biscuits. Its not that different!
Did you plan on being a househusband prior to having your children?
No. We looked into childcare options but we didn’t really feel comfortable with any of them
at that time.
My wife is an established and well-respected scientist. She loves her work and she always
planned to return to see it through.
The questions we asked ourselves were:
A) could my earnings cover childcare costs?
B) B) did we want someone else looking after our children?
C) would I be happy carrying on the job I was doing (as I’ve suffered from depression for
many many years)?
D) Was the company I was working for offer me long-term security and career progression?
The answer to all these questions was ‘Erm. No.’ So we decided
that the person best qualified for the job was me. I passed the interview, the exams and
the assault course and got stuck in.
How has your life changed since you made the transition?
Less sleep, more walking. I watch Cbeebies a bit more too.
How do you fit in with other parents and have you found it easy to build up a network?
At a Dads Group once I was called a ‘sad man’ by another dad for being a stay at home dad. Atother toddler and baby groups I get ignored. Mums on Twitter have told me this ‘isn’t a guy thing’ as they’ve experienced the same. I don’t really feel I do fit in. Strange as I have atleast one thing in common with all of them. I don’t go to these groups for my benefit. The kids love them and that’s what counts. At Baby Rhyme Time the self-named ‘Yummy Mummy Group’ need to be prosecuted under the Trade Descriptions Act.
Have you at any point considered going back to work?
Yes, but only at moments when I crave an easier life. Full-time parenting is a tough job. Relentless. But I’m actually very fortunate to be in this position and I constantly remind myself of this.
How have you found the facilities for fathers when you are out and about?
Gents toilets haven’t improved since the 1700’s and I won’t take my children into one. I’d rather not use them and I’ve yet to see a baby change table in a gents loo in this country, so I use the conventional baby change places. These are often disabled loos though, or at least, they are in my town.
What changes would you like to see the government make if any?
Two things I don’t talk about. Politics and the whole Snickers/Marathon/Opal Fruit/Starburst thing. Too risky.
How have your arrangements affected your relationship with your wife/partner?
We have our ups and downs, I throw my toys out of the pram and then I apologise. I’ve always been the house gimp, so not much has really changed in terms of domestic arrangements.
What are your plans for the future?
Dr B’s work may take us to another part of the country in 5 years so we’ll see based on that. Not sure yet.
What has been the best highlight for you over the last few years?
Realising that my wife and kids have helped me become the person I’ve always wanted to
be.