Name: Keith Kendrick aka Reluctant Housedad - Blog: www.reluctanthousedad.com and Twitter @relucthousedad)
Age: 47
Family Members: Wife Rebecca, 42; step-daughter Daisy, 9 and sons Tom, 6 and Sam, 3
How long have you been a stay at home Daddy for?
Since January this year (2011)
What was your previous occupation and how did you find the transition from that job to caring full time for an infant?
I was a senior editorial executive at a magazine publishing company before I was made redundant due to cutbacks in July 2010. I applied for dozens of senior jobs and was shortlisted several times but after six months I couldn’t land a position. But my wife – a freelance writer and then-stay-at-home-mum – did find work so we decided there was nothing else for it but to swap roles. I found the transition incredibly difficult, especially the logistics of looking after young children and running the home.
Did you plan on being a househusband prior to having your children?
No. Not in a million years.
How has your life changed since you made the transition?
Many men tell me how lucky I am to be a full-time dad to three fantastic kids, but although I love my children, and know that one day I will look back and appreciate the privilege of this time to be with them, I find my life now very dull in comparison to what I did before. I miss adult company massively, but I also miss my role as provider for my family. It’s an upbrinbging thing: my dad never had a day out of work, and until last year, neither had I. That has been the biggest part of the transition: accepting that this is my life now, that I will never go back to corporate life, and that I have to make the most of it.
How do you fit in with other parents and have you found it easy to build up a network?
I have no local connections with other parents: to be honest, I feel rather guilty and embarrassed about being a housedad while my wife has to slog her guts out to keep a roof over our heads so I keep myself to myself. But I have developed a very strong and supportive network of both men and women on Twitter and on my blog.
Have you at any point considered going back to work?
‘Considered’? LOL. I would do anything to find a job that would pay enough to cover childcare with some left over to make it worthwhile. I’ve been shortlisted several times but haven’t been able to land the killer punch. I now earn a small living as a freelance writer but I’m exploring other opportunities that will allow me to work from home and run the home.
How have you found the facilities for fathers when you are out and about?
‘Facilities?’ Do you mean ‘pubs’? Yes, I’m happy with the facilities.
What changes would you like to see the government make if any?
I’m not sure what the Government could do about flexible working, but my wife and I’s ideal situation would be for each of us to work 2-3 days each per week and look after the kids 2-3 days each per week. What I would like to see the Government do, though, is create flexible paternity leave so that families can choose when the best time is for Dad to take leave. Each family is different, but I know my wife needed me most when the kids were demanding toddlers, not when they were babies who did little more than eat and sleep.
How have your arrangements affected your relationship with your wife/partner?
I was worried my wife would have less respect for me because I spend so much of my dad ironing, cleaning and cooking – and then moaning about it - but paradoxically, she has more respect for me. I guess it’s because she has been in my shoes as a SAHM. She knows how challenging it can be, how boring, how teeth-grindingly tedious. And it works the other way, too: I have utter respect for how she has taken to her knew role and provides everything I can’t for our family. If anything, the switch has brought us closer, which has been a surprise.
What are your plans for the future?
I am going to continue chronicling my experiences on my blog whilst at the same time looking for more freelance writing work. I am also a passionate cook and so have been developing recipes which I post, with pictures, on my blog. If I could generate an income that combines these two loves and skills, that would be my ideal scenario.
What has been the best highlight for you over the last few years?
For all my reluctance, there have been some incredible highlights that I wouldn’t have witnessed if I’d still been in my 8am-7pm job. Some include: watching my stepdaughter thrash a rival school at netball, then giving a running commentary to her mum and dad; teaching my kids how to cook; accompanying my youngest son on school trips; creating a new network of friends via social media – even though I may never meet them. But I think the highlight that tops them all has to be teaching my very water-phobic six year-old son how to swim – he’s now like a BoyDolphin!.